Drama Queen

I know I still owe you the prequel to the last story about eating soap but “Shame on You” will have to wait for another day as we had a bit of an adventure this afternoon.  As I have alluded to, Zoe and I have been taking classes at a training center that also teaches police dogs.  This was our fourth lesson (each) with good stories I plan to release in an upcoming blog – but that is later in our pub strategy…after “Shame on You” which has been bumped back by today’s events which I think I already mentioned.

About 15 minutes into our one hour session with MaryAnne (MA), Zoe once again took center stage.  This time, rather than laying down and refusing to stand up as she was being dragged across the floor or standing on her hind legs and mouthing mom, dad OR our trainer, Zoe decided to squat and relieve herself.  All of us that really know her were quite shocked as she never pees inside.  Mom was with her at the time and initially was unaware of this indiscretion on the part of Zoe until MA alerted her to this fact.  From the vantage point of MA, dad, and myself the spillage looked rather dark for urine but we thought it was just the lighting in the building.  Then as mom looked down with a shocked look on her face “we” all realized it was due to the pee being composed largely of blood!  Of course I was already aware of this the second she started voiding her bladder as I had already detected the distinct iron-esque odor of blood in the air…and if I am to be honest, I smelled she wasn’t quite right before we even left the house but I was too excited by the opportunity for a car ride!

MA approached the “accident” and immediately looked concerned saying she had seen blood specks in urine before but nothing close to this flood coming from my sister Zoe.  She got out the mop and bucket and we continued our training.   Once again the little drama queen was unable to distract the lesson plan for the day.  However, in between shouting out orders for us, MA was Googling “blood in dog urine” and texting vet friends to see how urgent this medical condition was.  But still the lesson continued.  The verdict was if Zoe didn’t have an elevated core body temperature (fever) she probably was OK but should be monitored for the next 24 hours.  However, since my parents had plans for the evening they opted to go to the emergency vet to make sure she wasn’t in immediate peril.

So off to the Blue Pearl clinic that brought Sammy back from the dead a number of years ago.


Here we are awaiting the vet:

As it turns out – the vet who had the same name as my mom – said she still had a lot of stuff in her bladder so she was able to get a sample and determined it was “just” a UTI – no crystals had formed suggesting it was still early times in the infection process.  Phew.  Just a week or two of antibiotics and she should be back to her same annoying self which I suspect will happen even sooner as she was already walking on (frozen) water – which reminds me of yet another story I have to tell when Snowy visited us this fall – as we were waiting for mom to pay for the whole affair…


That is if she doesn’t get further sick from the chunk of butter out of the frying pan tonight, or the pork chop bone she stole out of the trash after dinner.  Thus “Queenie” kept our parents  home with us for the evening.

No concerns about my health though as I may have shred the hanger that my mother had her favorite shirt drying on, but I was smart enough not to ingest any of the parts…Zoe almost got a piece but dad caught her and shook it out of her mouth before the swallowing occurred.  We should tell you some time about the gorgeous surprise left on the front stoop.  Only made it to the back for about 30 seconds :).


The Tempest


Most of you when you read the word “soap” think of either a bar or liquid that you would employ to get rid of dirt and or grime.  Others might think of daytime serials in which just about anything can happen and thus the official genre adds the term opera to the end.

I think of neither of these as I am not a fan of being cleaned with soap as I feel I do a fine job with my every day grooming.  AND the TV is off during the daytime when my parents are at work so I have never actually seen a soap opera.  What I think of is the ’70’s TV show named Soap for I at one point ate a DVD holder containing one of the season of this show.  The box was very tasty but didn’t have a hint of soapy flavor so I am not sure why the show was named what it was.

But what I think of, or what any of you think of when reading the title of this blog, is irrelevant to my real story – one which in reality should be told by Zoe since the is the main character in this saga.

Chapter 1:

Monday morning, 7:05 AM:  Shower time

I was snuggled up next to Dad who was still in bed as our mother started warming up the water in the shower.  Zoe was on the bed too but likely chewing something and trying to annoy me.  Noticing a lack of soap on the ledge where the bar is usually kept.  “Hey, why did you throw out the soap?”  Dad: “Huh?”  Mom: “There was still a significant left so why did you get rid of it?”  Dad: “Huh?”  Mom: “You didn’t throw out the soap?”  Dad: “I did not.  But Zoe has been real interested in it lately after I am done with my shower.  I just thought she had been licking the water on the floor and getting her muddy paws cleaned up but I suppose she could have snagged the soap when I wasn’t looking.(?)!”  Mom: “That Zoe, what a prankster.”

Tuesday morning, 6:52 AM: Shower time

Same set up as Monday Morning, mom warming the water, dad and I curled up in bed, Zoe being annoying.  Once again, no soap in the shower.  Mom fascinated asked dad if he left the shower door open yesterday.  Nope.


Monday evening, 5:48 PM: Getting dinner ready

Mom working feverishly in the kitchen putting yet another tasty meal on the table.  Dad and I chilling on the couch discussing future blog entries that have built up over the past few months and coming up with a publication plan.  Zoe, who is usually butting in and making a nuisance of herself was nowhere to be found.  Shortly there was a clamor of chewing coming from the bedroom above us.  That Zoe presumably found her bone that she usually chews in the morning during the pre-shower ritual and is keeping herself entertained while the rest of us work.  Seems that training is paying off or she is finally growing up.

Dinner served.  All of us gathered around the table, us pups sitting politely on the floor giving our parents appropriate space while they eat.

Further Flashback

The above pictures are not following the Zoe eating soap episode although the bubbles around her mouth would give that impression.  The green foliage in the back ground may have given it away that this was not earlier this week.  But the reason for her white rimmed lips and bubble drool will be the subject of a future entry…promise.

The Tempest

PS – Later this week my parents witnessed Zoe pushing open the shower door, entering the chamber of water, and going after the bar of soap.  After a reprimand, Zoe gave up on stealing her third bar of soap and exited the shower by once again pushing open the door and returning it to the closed position.  This brought a tear to my eye – kinda proud of the little girl.

A True Marvel

Not bragging or anything but I am a bit of a marvel.   If you doubt it, you can just ask me and I’ll set you straight.

As an example, I just found these new filters that allow me to turn any picture or film that I take with my parents’ iPhones into new creations using all sorts of cool effects including “ink”, “watercolor”, or “Comic Book”.   I was mostly attracted to the “comic book” filter for two reasons:

1) We’ve watched a lot of Marvel-based shows on Netflix since I’ve arrived at my forever home – and I am always riveted to the narrative.

2) I recently read that the creator of Marvel comics, Stan Lee, passed away from cardiac arrest.  Gonna miss him – although I guess I never met him I would still like to thank him for all the great characters I have enjoyed on our AppleTV.  At least we have this new filters he inspired so maybe Zoe and I can create some neo-canine comic strips!

On another note, one we aren’t really talking about around the house this week, but the Michigan football season is over now (aside from a bowl game sometime in January).   In other words, maybe now the Scribe can focus his attention on all the stories I hope to relate to you (although he’ll probably get consumed by basketball or hockey now).  But there is always hope since they’ll be confined to the house due to the Chicago winter conditions that have descended upon us.


The Tempest

In case the first video link doesn’t work for copyright reasons then try this one:

The Fugitive

There I was, minding my own business on the couch this morning – like every other morning – when there was a terrible clanging coming from the dog room.  Yeah, Zoe had be totally loco throughout the early morning hours as there were leaf collection trucks, delivery vehicles, and other random noises coming from the neighboring yards, but she didn’t seem to relax one iota after my parents left for work.

Skipping ahead now to the moment when our dog walker came by our abode around 12:30 PM in the early afternoon and the discovery that I was not alone on the couch.  I might not have mentioned this before but during the day I am allowed free reign of the house – except where gates are put up to block my access and certain rooms in which the doors have been closed.  On the other side, Zoe, who is not as trusted by my ‘rents, spends her days in her metal crate in our room.  Now that noise I heard within our walls that I was telling you about a second ago was Zoe going coo-coo in her crate…so much so that she soon joined me on the couch.  Our parents would have been oblivious to this fact since by the time they returned home she had been captured and returned to her crate…if it weren’t for the technology we have today.

This “shame” photo from our friend from A Paw Above the Rest that they got in a text message gave it away though:56391709408__5208E0CC-B7A5-42F7-BC9E-A679226D99EE.jpeg

The Tempest

-sorry for the lack of communication recently – despite the vast experiences we’ve had lately that I would like to relate to my readers, The Scribe has been a bit preoccupied by the recent success of the Michigan football team.  This current short entry may be the last time I get his attention until after The Team visits the dreaded Buckeyes in Columbus in a few weeks…but maybe I can distract him enough to get another one or two blogs out before then.  If not, Happy Thanksgiving everyone….one of my favorite holidays since it centered around food 🙂


Letter to My Dad


This is Zoe, and I am mad.

First of all, at 3:45 this am, you left.  I cried, and what did Mom do?  She brought me to bed where I crashed sideways between your two pillows snoring in bliss.  Then she was so tired she hit snooze upsetting my sleep.  When she finally woke Tempi and me up know what she said?  “Dad is coming back; don’t get used to those pillows.”  ARGHHHHH!

Then she only takes us for a 2+ mile walk.  The nerve.  On our walk she made us sit while this little teddy bear of a thing on a leash lunged at us and growled.  Yep.  Made US sit!  The guy kept making excuses for his dog (only 8 weeks old, really wants to play, etc.).  And then he said the most hurtful thing ever… that we were good dogs!  Nah uh we are not!  And you know what?  Mom just smiled and said “Thank you.  They are very food motivated, which helps.”  WE ARE NOT GOOD, I promise Dad, we are not.

We had breakfast and we didn’t even get steak.

This was all only 3 hours after you left.  And it gets much worse.

I had to wear my special collar.

We had to go in our crate while Mom went to work and the people were here.  Know what?  I was so tired I didn’t even bark or notice when she came home until she called me.  What??  Who does that to a dog?  And they were drilling some more and I missed it??

Then we had to go on another walk, but Mom was on a teleconference so we had to behave AGAIN!

Then I had to share the couch with my sister.

Then after the people left Mom let us out back and the guy walked in the back yard unbeknownst to Mom who thought he was gone.  Tempi was giving her special tail wag and walking through his legs while I was giving my patented Zoe hug and kisses.  We were so happy to finally get to say hi in person to our new friend!  And you know what?  Mom told us to stop and to let the guy go home :(.  The nerve.

I bet she won’t even feed us.  And if she does it won’t be steak.

Missing you lots!  It is hard being a dog here, Dad.

P.S.  This is Tempi.  I keep telling her no one cares about her problems, but I agreed to post in the off chance it would make her leave me alone.



Animal Intelligence

I recently came across the below story.  I’ve heard a lot about artificial intelligence recently, but you all seemed to have missed the biggest link to higher enlightenment: Animal Intelligence.  Yeah, yeah.   I already hear the naysayers in the audience claiming that people (homo sapiens) are but mere animals when it comes to the kingdoms of biology.  In fact, you are going to say that we (people and dogs) are even more closely related than this, as we are both mammals. Which will get me to my second point: domestication.  But before, I go there, I think this particular piece of journalism – which no doubt some will say is fake news – will demonstrate all of you with the “Big Brains” are missing out on so much of the world (and here I am talking only about the world of mammals), to which maybe you should open your minds – and aspirations?  And if those maple-leaf headed “Uber Smart People” in Toronto had done so earlier, they could have saved millions (that barb is dedicated to you Steve of Montreal):


But there is more to this story, and that is one of domestication…and the fact that I can’t really blame you for missing the obvious right in front of your noses as you have been selectively bred to ignore the multiple scents on the breezes around you (not to mention your connection to your fellow mammals).  As you’ll see in this story, us dogs rock.   Maybe one day you’ll join Generation K9.  But likely, your shrinking brain pan, skull, droppy ear lobes, and other senses have been dulled by your quest for the perfect human (which in fact is an experiment lead by your two closest companions, and what you perceive as mortal combatants – Cats and Dogs) to get the best stewards in the Galaxy.


The Tempest



Will there be another race
To come along and take over for us?
Maybe martians could do
Better than we’ve done
We’ll make great pets!



A Quest for Service

We’ve been to Michigan the last few weekends for football games…which somehow Zoe and I keep managing to not get invited to attend.  However, we don’t mind because:

  1. We can play our own version of the game.
  2. Snowy comes over to play and our Aunt K (Snow-birds mum) watches us and makes sure Zoe doesn’t jump the fence…again – but that is a totally different story.
  3. Snowy can be the ref as she has shown more than enough skill in this department.
  4. If we ever get bored with our football game, Snowy is there to initiate a track meet in which we all do laps around our grandmother’s (Mormor and Farmor’s) backyard – of course constantly being aware of the flower beds and never causing any injuries to our flora fans who quietly, but avidly, watch our games.

After such romps, we naturally take a break and look for refreshments.  The “public” water bowl is always well stocked but sometimes us girls need a little special attention and someone to wait on us.  So we head to the nearest bistro for what we hope will be an excellent opportunity for service.  On the first occasion, our good friend and human relative, Miss E, joined us at this lovely little outdoor eatery.  However, the service was atrocious!  In fact, that would be a compliment to the wait staff since none ever  stopped by our table!  Pretty much like our IL bistro…  In this series of pictures you can see that there is no one close to helping us – and this is despite Zoe and Snowy going off to try and find someone.

Once we got home, Zoe and I checked out another Cafe but this time took a different approach hoping it would attract some of the wait staff.  This is akin to the bistro I tried another day in another blog.

This tactic also got us nowhere.  But their Yelp profile will take a beating once I find both of these rat-trap establishments!

At some point we have to be able to find a decent place to go get our post-exercise refreshments and goodies.

Zoe may have just about given up on finding a good place but Miss E agreed to help us in our quest…and if successful, Zoe will no doubt be right at the edge of her seat at the table (being the food motivated pup that she is).



Until then, take care, and may you encounter better hospitality on your adventures.

The Tempest