The Next POTUS

From what I’ve seen on TV (or more precisely the internet projected onto the television via AppleTV) the current President of the United States has gotten himself into a bit of a quagmire.  So I thought it might be time – even though the midterm elections haven’t even taken place – to start campaigning for the next general election for the President of the United States (which will hopefully still be united at that time).

Sammy and Montana (not pictured above) have promised they’ll stop their collegiate studies to provide the nation their leadership if necessary.

Preliminary polls suggest (to Zoe) she might have a leg up on Tempi:

or is that a kiester?

Either way, all contestants for this season of the Apprentice vow that they will not be coerced, prodded, cajoled, bribed, blackmailed, influenced, tricked, or riled by anyone without a steak, pork chop, bone, treats, chicken, salmon, or who is willing to take them for a walk.

IT is now up to you, the readers of this blog, to pick the next POTUS (Puppy Only Treated  with Utmost Superiority).

The Pack

OFF

Found this stuff in the garage and logically deduced that it should be a particularly good repellent for Zoe since it says on the can “active” – and boy is she active:

Hmmm.   This stuff must be broken for she (like many of the mosquitoes in our yard) have fought through our layers of defense:

At least Mom was there to provide me comfort and moral support as our barriers succumbed to the forces of Ouzo:

Guess it’s time to look for something that can provide a little stronger border control.  I am considering building a wall around our table unless one of you have a better suggestion.

The Tempest

Something’s a bit off…

I expect many of you are thinking that with this title I am talking about my appetite.  And although I am still not my normal chow hound, I am eating somewhat regularly now.  However, the something that is a bit off is my new sister…and she may actually be quite a bit more off than I am letting on.  This is something for you to decide and may actually come out over time.  As a friend of ours once said: “Time will tell.”  We think he is a true philosopher.

Anyhow, here are a few examples:

1) One of the first days she was at our house she jumped on the kitchen counter.  And by on the counter I am not talking about counter surfing but she actually jumped all the way up and landed on the top of the counter next to the sink – all 4 paws at once.  At first I was appalled at the lack of respect for proper kitchen etiquette.  Then it dawned on me that this new one might be on to something – after all my legs are only so long so sometimes I can’t reach things they push to the way back of the counter or put on the window sill.  Jumping up like she did would solve this problem I’ve been having…if I was only able to shed my proper upbringing.   The thing that really surprised me is after one sound scolding and the command to get off the counter she not only complied that one time but hasn’t gotten up there since.   I guess she isn’t the trailer trash* I thought she was.

*I actually don’t know what this really refers to, but I have heard it used when talking about individuals with less sophisticated upbringings compared to myself.

2) The other day we went on another round of visits to vets to see if they could figure out what was up with me.  The staff was great at this specialty clinic…and I say that not because the tech said I was the best dog EVER (with the possible exception of his own).  While telling my parents this fact, he lowered his voice so the other pet parents wouldn’t hear thus demonstrating he was no trailer trash.   Although they took great care of me it did take an awfully long time to get to see the doctor.  Granted they had to deal with some emergency cases and follow-up visits but you’d think they would have realized I was a princess and the best dog EVER and would have treated me with the appropriate urgency.

Aside from that they were really nice and even fed me some pretty tasty food.  In fact, when the vet finally got me to eat the food, I polished off everything on the paper plate and then stuck my head in the trash can where she had thrown away a chunk of the food.  However, I would not recommend them for a haircut.

So, in some respect, that preamble has nothing to do with why Zoe is a bit off.   The reason I contend that this statement is indeed a fact is that when we arrived home we found that Zoe had broken out of her crate.  Apparently dad didn’t get the bottom set properly so she was able to push at this security breach and escaped.  So what chaos did we find  in the house?  Surely there was a couch or chair destroyed!  Nope.  She must have gotten into the bathroom and shredded all the toilet paper!  Nope.   AHA!  The iPad was destroyed?  The Macbook dragged to the back door?  The flatscreen TV splattered across the living room?   The spybot disassembled?  No, no, no, and no!!! What is off with this dog?  Sure the spybot has been hidden since I took out his brethren but how could the house be totally as we left it except the fact that she was out (not in) her crate????

Well, I showed her a few days later when my parents were out for an hour or so what one could (and should) do in their absence.  Remember, I am still not 100% but I was able to drag the towels out of our shower stall and did this to an umbrella from the Chicago Botanic Garden.

Just saying it may be time to step up your game new one.

Or are you one of those kiss up types I’ve heard about that are all prim and proper around the powers that be (a hierarchy you learned once you jumped on the counter) but turn into the devil child when they aren’t looking?

But there is, I suppose, a possibility this new one is actually brilliant.  I have found with many beings who are seen as wacky there is truly something close to transcendent knowledge/insights that aren’t recognized by the general population until much later…but there is no way that this is possible with Zoe as she is like the fourth sharpest tool in our pack of 4.

I must admit, a bit begrudgingly, that she does have her moments when I think she may not be the worst little sister ever.

The Tempest

Nicknames 2018

Back when Montana first started this blog she had a few entries about nicknames…like these:

Nicknames…AKA Alias #1

Nicknames (Part 2) – Jackson Pollock

I realized I never provided my (her) readers with my many nicknames until Zoe joined the pack.  See, mom first gave Snowy the nickname SnowBird – which makes a certain amount of sense since there is actually a species of bird with this as their colloquial name…in some ways though, this is also just a nickname for them, given their true Linnaeusian binomial nomenclature categorization is Junco hyemalis.  Gotta admit that no matter what you call them they look awfully tasty:

And, I can see where my Mom was coming from given the snow covering the back and chest of this potentially tasty morsel…kind of like a piece truffle of that I am not allowed to eat because of the toxicity inherent in dark chocolate for my kind.

Anyhow, for some lame reason, this extension to Snowy’s name was incorporated into Zoe’s name giving her the new nickname of Zoebird.   Which, if you ask me, doesn’t have the same depth of significance (or appetizing) virtue of SnowBird.   But it does role off ones tongue pretty nicely (which the snowbird would never do as I’d be sure to swallow that one quickly before my parents would wrest my jaws open and shake it out like they do so many other treats I find on our walks).  In any case, whenever either of our parents call Zoe by this particular nickname, I can’t help but think of the Futurama character Zoidberg – which in some ways is much more Zoe like than anything else I can think of:

 

Of course, I too have many nicknames.  But the one I feel is most true to my nature is Tempranillo as I am totally unoaked.   Then when my parents brought home this bottle of wine with my pseudonym on the label AND my true title “El Jefe” (the boss) also on the label I knew they were on to something.

Here is a pic of three wine bottles with the matriarch lineage of our pack…with the obvious exception of our dear sister Montana – although we are always on the look out for a bottle to add to this shrine that would capture her essence as well.

The Tempest

THE POOL by Zoe

Now that I am getting a handle on this iMovie thing, my newest release is a little bit longer than most of the things my sisters have previously released.  In other words, this is not for the short attention span crowd.  For those of you that do suffer from this affliction, I hope you have a remote control with a fast forward button.

I’ll end this entry at this point and let Tempi write the stories of the dog park and other fun we’ve had in the pool and other adventures in future blogs.

ouZOE

Pool Party

Although I am still not eating with my regular gusto (and certainly not that dry kibble stuff they’ve been trying to make me believe was food for the past few years) but my energy level is a getting better.  I’ve had a lot of good walks – which I am eager to take – and many good wrestling matches with Zoe…some of which I actually win.   I am starting to catch on to some of her tricks and tactics.

In addition, the super hot weather has broken and it is a nice temperature today which inexplicably prompted Dad to go buy us a pool (like I said previously I am still the sharpest tool in this shed).  I am sure this recent New Yorker Cartoon is going to be a part of our not too distant future:

I suppose it is possible that getting this weeks New Yorker in the mail today may have inspired him to shop for a pool:

Gotta admit that it does kinda look like me and definitely captures my typical level of activity over the past week.

Or maybe it had something to do with Zoe and I complaining that Snowy got to play in a pool in Michigan:

(here is a screenshot of the video she texted us – a big leap forward for my little friend)

Or could it have been the initial spark of the idea was when Zoe took a nose dive into the fountain by Whole Foods.  Poor thing didn’t realize it was going to be so deep because the basin was painted in a way that messed with her depth perception.  After going completely underwater she popped up looking totally surprised but not frightened.  I laughed at her from the pool edge (while being discouraged by my parents NOT to jump in after her – like I’d be that foolish).

I tried to tell her even though we were living La Dolce Vita, this was no Fontana di Trevi, she is no Anita Ekberg, and Dad is certainly no Marcello Mastroianni!

Anyhow, once the pool was filled to a reasonable level, I joined Zoe in our new pool for a few laps.  Water tasted even better than our water bowl.  I think it was the dirt from the tarp Dad through over the plastic walls which added the extra flavor.  Zoe spent a lot of time helping fill the pool but I’ll let her tell that story with another installment in her film series (btw – thanks for filling in for me girl when I was totally not myself).

Once done with our swim, we exited the pool and shook out – we don’t need no stinking towels – and headed to the cafe.  But where is that waiter?

So much for The Sweet Life…

The Tempest

My Name is Zoe…and I can Blog Too!

Unfortunately, The Tempest is still not 100% which is surprising since, like me, she usually is at least 110%.  She seems to be getting better but she doesn’t eat as much or fast as usual.  My parents don’t let me have what she doesn’t finish…mostly.

While she continues to recover she said I could try posting something.  There were many requests for videos of us playing which is perfect since I am not as wordy as Tempi but I do like action movies.  Not to say I don’t use my voice when outside chasing off evil spirits from our yard (squirrels mostly), or while playing with Tempi but I tend to keep it to a few (or many) sharp “Woofs.”

Before I share our playing video “Inside Out,” I wanted you to see the first movie I ever did on our Macbook.  This one stars me and me alone.   It has been said that it takes me a lot longer to learn something than the Wiz Kid, but here I show that I can master our new drinking fountain in a mere matter of days.

Tempi suggested I put this short video of her and Sammy wrestling that they made before he went to college as an appetizer for our show.  Did I mention I like appetizers?  Not as much as the main course but I’ve found food is pretty much always a good thing – which is so weird about Tempi not eating.  I can’t imagine ever being THAT sick! Although my Mom said they always said that about Tempi… they are a bit worried!

Sammy looks like he was quite the dog.  I hope I grow up to be as cool as he was.

Now for the main feature:

While that was fun, I guess my Mom is cutting us off from intense play.  BOOO!

More soon from The Tempest.

Ciao,

Ouzo