So last night, I was once again minding my own business and waiting for my parents to return home from work. This is when I heard the garage door opening which is my first clue they are home…Sammy usually snoozes through this part. I make fun of him every time but he counters with some claim that back in the day the garage door opening was the final clue (aside from the door opening) because he heard the car coming down the street “days” in advance. I think he must be smoking something or having old age hallucinations or something because I can’t hear the car – unless I am in the right spot and hear the tires on the driveway. Anyhow, before I digress, let me just tell you that on this occasion only Mom came through the door leading from the garage into our house. This happens every so often…if I were to guess it is about once a week…but us dogs don’t pay that close attention to your arbitrary divisions of time. We like to base things on smells…like it smells like spring, or it smells like skunk season (I know, I owe you a skunk story), or it must be summer because steaks are sizzling on the grill at a much more frequent interval. But now that I think of it, there is a smell that oscillates at a frequency of about 7 days – which if I understand it – is a week. The smell usually ebbs and flows from this bin outside our backdoor that my parents throw crap in on some days and then intermittently move to the front yard, after which it comes back much less interesting odor wise.
So, back to yesterday – which turns out to be the high tide of smells just before my Mom let us out into the backyard. It took me just a moment to realize this odor had vacated the premises along with the aforementioned bin. It was at this point I noticed my Dad’s abandoned backpack lying outside on the ground. Immediately, panic stricken, I searched the yard for any trace of him. Of course, I got a quick scent of his smell on the wind (and backpack) but other than that no signs of him. Sammy eventually sauntered out after me and proceeded to void his bladder right there…in my odor path to locate my Dad. What was he thinking?!?! Dad is MIA and the old guy just goes about his business?!??
After giving him (Sammy) the old evil eye, I put my nose (and eyes) to work. This is when I noticed a creeper lurking in the bushes by our back patio. Instantly, I went on high alert, and acted to defend our territory. Growling, barking (with hackles raised no doubt) I moved in on the intruder. My Mom came up from behind me and questioned my deductive reasoning…Sammy laughing the whole time. As you’ll see (or rather hear) from the attached “video,” I eventually caught on to the fact that the guy intruding on us WAS my Dad! I sprinted to him and gave him lots of kisses as I scolded him for tricking me this way. Then I turned my wrath on Sammy. WHY did you not warn me about this so called “game.” He just shrugged – as much as an old dog could shrug – and said if I had listened to him I would have known this could happen. Then he made the almost inexcusable accusation that I did not pay complete attention to Montana’s blog! He then referred to post she made a while back … which coincidentally he could not find any documentation of tonight (just saying). I think it is him once again reporting Fake News.
Unfortunately, my search for Dad, which I didn’t even really know was for him, was supposedly being “videotaped” (this anachronism is something my parents can’t seem to let go of even if the iPhone does not have tape) but for some reason the only thing retained in the file was the audio – this is driving my parents nuts, but oh well. Is what it is. I put my best “face” on this clip that distinctly depicts my Mother telling me to relax and (less distinctly) the kisses I gave Dad once I found him. I sure hope he can figure out what happened to the video because I’d love for you to see my defensive posture and rejoice that I didn’t need to defend our turf but just welcome my parents home after another long day at work! A girl’s work is never done in this household…just saying.
-HEY! HE said he’d put my best FACE forward! What the…
That is total Garbage Dad!