Broken

This past weekend we went for our second week in a row of dog training with MA up at TOPS.  Since the weather was nice out, we got to start with some outdoor exercises which mainly focused on recall.  So out we went into their (high) fenced-in area, the same spot where we first worked on recall after Zoe had her run-in with the car.  Our leashes and training collars were removed and we were given the chance to run free in the rather large open area – relatively large compared to our backyard but not our off leash area in New Mexico.

I trotted around the yard some while Zoe mainly stayed right by our mom’s side.  Dad (the Scribe) ran about a bit which we thought was pretty funny, given his lack of athleticism, but after a we settled down from our laughter, we joined in the show just to amuse him.  Then the come command came from Mom: and Zoe-berg was right by her side again and would not budge no matter what dad or I did.  When our Dad called for me to “come” I did…eventually…after I had enough sniffs of the general area as I sauntered over to him.  Did I mention it was at my own pace?

MA was a bit confused by our lack of bad behavior so we went out into another area with lower fences, some benches, a small house that was obviously a cover for small rodent-like creatures.  At this point, leashes off again, we were once again tested on our ability to respond to the recall command.  Zoe still would not leave our mothers side. Except on the one occasion when Dad called her and she ran to his side – long enough to get a “good girl”, some pets, and of course the love of her father, before returning to Mom’s side.  I was sticking around Dad….just in case.

This was about the time MA said: “I think we may have broken them.”

Mom reassured her that they (our parents) had not run us into the ground or drugged us in any way, prior to this training session.  The recent heat wave was given as a possible explanation for our less then vigorous behavior – but this theory was readily dismissed as an unlikely source of our obedience since the afternoon in question was relatively perfect.

So they tried to entice us with more random people activities to encourage us to be excited about being “free”.   MA even went around the side of the house presumably to frighten some of those varmints hiding around there.  I, being off of leash, followed her and got a good whiff of one or more good rodent smells in the area.  So I decided to embark on a True Detective (HBO copyright infringement aside) investigation of our new surroundings.   Even when called to return, I ignored Dad’s beckoning since I was working on the elusive trail of something I would like to kill.  This lack of “attention” on my part resulted in me being attached to the LONG-LEASH.   After one or two reprimands by the leash, I wouldn’t leave dad’s side.   This was about all MA could take with this particular training routine – which I assume means us canines WON – and so back inside we went for some more of our normal sit, stand, stay, heal, down exercises…which of course I nailed.  Zoe?  Well she struggled with the “stay” command always trying to be next to Mom’s side.  The theory among us all was that she was not going to get in trouble for missing the “Come” command.  HAHAHAHA.

Upon our return home, I started to make me believe that she may have been irreparably damaged by her experiences at TOPS.  This came as a result of my observation that when my parents put some raw tuna in front of her, from some sushi they were eating at their next meal, she totally balked at eating it:

Being the trooper that she is, she tried to eat that uncooked chunk of fish, but she just couldn’t do it – which was my sweet reward…mmmm, fresh fish! Did I mention I LOVE sushi?

My concern for her well being was quelled in short order when the tuna (which was presented to me…and immediately removed from the scene) was replaced by some sausage bits…which rapidly disappeared when put in front to my sister:

NOTE:  The hand in the above picture on the left is still in one piece and functional – thanks to the astounding training we have been privileged to receive from TOPS (only the sausage was harmed in the filming of this episode).

So, as it turns out, we may not be all that broken after all.

But if our parents, MA, and TOPS did break us, a song we’ve heard numerous times in the last year gives us reassurance that we’ll be OK as long as our pack stays together.

The Tempest

“I like that you’re broken
Broken like me
Maybe that makes me a fool
I like that you’re lonely
Lonely like me
I could be lonely with you”

–lovelytheband

Strong Personalities

So, you may be wondering what happened to “Zoe’s Rebuke”, which I intimated was our next installment.  Well, it so happens that this is the same story but with a slightly different emphasis (if you put the emphasis on the wrong syllable you may come up with EM-phas-is – but you’ll have to go through a course with Adam Sandler at another time to fully comprehend how such miscues can cause some embarrassment).

Anyhow, with that aside, I want to tell you about our experiences this Sunday when we went back to our doggy (people) training.   First off, to our good friend and regular reader Tammy’s point – people are a downer.  For instance, our parents totally ratted us out in the first 2 minutes of reuniting with Maryanne (MA).  And boy did they go on about our supposed trespasses? on our recall training!  If you had heard them describe the situation of our pre-walk of shame, you’d have thought we had disappeared for days if not years.   This was how our last class started.  But, following the parent’s obvious exaggeration of the story, MA said we (Zoe and I) had strong personalities!  How had our parents missed this obvious summation of their four-legged children?

With this all behind us, we proceeded with our lessons.  First, the typical walk around in a circle, sit, heel, sit, heel, down, heel, down-stay, heel, sit-stay, heel….  Then things got interesting.  First, we were “ordered” to sit and stay on one side of the room.  Our parents walked to the opposite side.  And then the “COME” command was issued by both our “handlers,” at which point we both headed toward Mom for some good pets and positive reinforcements….but apparently this was an error on my part as The Scribe was my handler.  Boy was I embarrassed!  Then more drills.  Since I have previously described the traits inherent in my genes I suspect you won’t be surprised that I nailed the rest of the exercises MA put us through (intelligence and hard work being at the core of my being (stubbornness came through too but that is for another day)).  My Dad?  Had some trouble with the commands but I always did what he asked, even if it wasn’t what MA asked for!  Zoe, the high strung, energetic type, did not fair so well – surprise, surprise.  For instance, we were asked to sit in front of our handlers who then went and sat on a bench along the wall.  The next command was to go to the “down” position.  I immediately put my front paws in front of me and slid down as ordered.  Zoe strolled up to Mom, jumped up on the bench, and lay “down” next to her.  Mmmmm.  My parent’s actually had to ask MA if that counted (NO!) and had several re-dos.  Suffice it to say, I got a lot of rest during our hour long training session but Zoe ended up with a lot of extra work as a result of her meltdowns…by which I mean, laying on her back, legs up, in a total drama queen pose, biting her leash, rearing up on our Mom, and worst of all, jumping on her back.  Did I mention that around this time of “Zoe’s Rebuke” that an older couple (age being something hard for me to discern since my parents seem to have one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel) had come in with their two little pups – the man wearing a Navy cap.  This couple was not much impressed by Zoe’s antics…but also looked a bit fearful of their hour with MA.  In fact MA commented on how hot it was and the man said “we wanted to cancel but were scared we would make you mad!”  MA is a great trainer; my parents are just awful at being trained!  It is a good thing they have me, and only Zoe as the bad girl.

In the end, we were given a modest approval of our behavior and some stern instructions to our parents to BE CONSISTENT.  This makes sense as I always knew it is their fault we are not the best behaved, as I am perfect after all!

The Tempest

P.S. Since there were no pictures of these events – our parents having their hands full embarking on another year of pretending to learn how to be good dog owners, I though I’d share some of the photos of us in the waterfall that our NM Grandmother referred to in her comment to my last post.  Best –

 

 

 

The Walk of Shame

So whilst in New Mexico, Zoe and I enjoyed many a good romp off leash in the surrounding mountain side.  And after all our recent training we were enthusiastic to show off our new recall skills.  And on the initial ascent up “Mom’s Mountain” we provided an excellent example of the tutorials Maryanne provided.

Then, without any warning, a particularly interesting scent presented itself to us and off we went down the slope off the trail.  And the pursuit was on.  We may have lost contact with the rest of the pack – or rather the human component of our trek failed to realize the import of our finding and stayed on the road (what they were calling the trail) as we scrambled down through the underbrush, prickers and all, in order to find what our noses led us to try and discover.  Unfortunately, the buzzers around our necks beckoned us back to the pack to follow in the boring footsteps of the people “in charge” of the expedition.  And to reward us for falling back in line we were immediately attached once again to our leashes:

You may be able to make out my lead wrapped around Grandfathers walking stick, around the back of his knees, and latched onto my collar.  What shame I felt…for Zoe to be restrained in her gasping, straining way.  I was a perfect angel on my leash.  And if you doubt me, just ask the two people holding our leads!  The walk of shame tho… never good, people!

We eventually were once again trusted to show off our recall training and released to the wilds of northern NM.  This time we did a fantastic job of staying within earshot (and visual) contact of our people.  Just because the grass was too tall on occasion for them to see us is not our fault.  During one stretch, in order to keep their hollering for us at a minimum – after all, their constant nattering was scaring away any of the more interesting local fauna – we made sure they could see us by climbing up a bit higher along the side of the path.

However, this strategy did not stop them from raising their voices in order to fall back in line on the trail.

Interestingly, this lead to an interesting turn of fate as our mother was then the one to have to endure the “Walk of Shame”…

…although this wasn’t a result of her misbehaving (or so she said) but because of the nettles that lined this section of the path.

We were rewarded during the march with some water and we also got a chance to sit in the shade and rest on the porch of my grandparent’s neighbors house before we returned to our walk and climbed the last hill back to the house – where we were able to enjoy a beautiful, cool, summer evening.

The Tempest

-Next up: Zoe’s Rebuke

Winner of the Genes

Just before we left for our vacation, we got the results from our Wisdom test (aka torture test)…and guess what?  I WON! No surprise, really, given it was a wisdom test and I am super smart.

Here are the results:

TEMPI:

ZOE:

So you may be looking at these charts, maybe got a calculator out, and came to the conclusion that both of us have 100% dog DNA.  So why did I win?  We’ll have to delve into the data a little deeper to answer this question.

THE TEMPEST

Beagle: “Beagles seem to enjoy dog sports such as tracking, hunting, agility, rally and competitive obedience.”

Alaskan Malamute: “Intelligent and very hard working”

American Staffordshire Terrier: “Hard-working and loyal dogs.”

Great Dane: “Intelligent, alert, and calm dogs. ”

ZOE

Labrador Retriever: “Usually happy-go-lucky, calm, or easygoing dogs, though some may be energetic“

Siberian Husky: “Siberian Huskies are energetic dogs…Stubborn tendencies”

German Shepherd: “Personalities…energetic.”

White Swiss Shepherd: “Personalities…energetic.”

So, I hope it is obvious from this exhaustive and comprehensive report that Zoe is energetic and stubborn, whereas I am obedient, hard-working, and intelligent.  And it is based on these FACTS, and my stunning beauty, that I think it is clear that I am the WOG (Winner of Genes) of this household…and I dare say the world.

I did mention hard working, right?

The Tempest

– next time, Tempi and Zoe’s walk of shame.  Not MY fault, just sayin’…

 

 

 

Cos-Play…Or the fun of an alternative personality.

Sorry for the lack of correspondence recently.  Turns out the scribe has an ear infection and a cough that won’t go away so he was less than attentive to my need for story telling.  Or so goes the latest excuse.  This, in combination with some suspect internet connections during our recent trip to the mountains of NM, has resulted in a dearth of story telling on my part – despite the abundance of experiences Zoe and I have experienced recently.

So, in order to break the ice of silence, I thought a short story about a new persona Zoe has been trying out might be a good place to start.  We may have previously shared this NatGeo story about a black panther being photographed in Africa:

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/02/rare-black-panther-spotted-in-africa-century/

Zoe took this as inspiration to slip into a sort of pseudonym/super-hero role: The Elusive Black Panther of FairOaks.   You are all probably aware of Peter Parker assuming the role of Spiderman, Clark Kent = Superman, Bruce Wayne = Batman, Boy Wonder = Robin…well maybe he had another name too but does anyone really care?

Here is The EBPoF in the jungles of NM:

And during her metamorphosis on her sublematic comforter:

And after her re-animation into the Zo-Zo following her cleansing routine:

She had second thoughts about taking on this role full time once her Mother explained to her that Black Panthers don’t get sweet potato (and sweet pea) bones.  And that taking walks in daylight might undermine her secrete identity.  And… Black Panthers don’t bark excessively at their sisters…pretty much most of her behavior is not Black Panther like, according to Mom, who thinks she somehow knows (??).

In short, we are still waiting to see to what extent she adopts her new alternative identity,

More stories of our trip soon…if the scribe medicates himself appropriately 🙂

The Tempest