Nice and Naughty

So guess who has been up to no good again?

If you guessed Zoe you’d be right.  In less than 8 hours in Ann Arbor it wasn’t just one thing that I would categorize as extremely naughty.

First off, while our parents were out, she broke into the room where our Christmas presents were being hidden and took out one of the toys that were meant for us after they’ve been wrapped and set under the tree.  But here she is looking a little busted for having the toy…once our parents returned home.

And let me tell you, it’s getting real tiring being the good dog.

It didn’t take long for her to try and flip the script and make it look like she was the nice dog…

…which she obviously is NOT.

Once she got the squeaker out I had to step in and stop her shenanigans.

Once I successfully got possession of the squeaker and brought it to Dad for proper disposal, I thought my work was done…that is after I picked up all the fluff she pulled from the toy and artistically placed it under the tree like it was snow.

That was of course way to optimistic on my part for she still had tricks hidden in her collar (or maybe up one of her sleeves).

Not long after dinner we were outside running around, chasing each other, chasing squirrels (but not skunks), etc. like we normally do.  After a bit of this I came back in the house alone.  It wasn’t long before my parents got suspicious about what Zoe was up to in the backyard by herself.  They looked around for a bit but the fact that it was dark outside and Zoe is black they couldn’t see her.  They asked if I knew anything.  I of course said nothing about her jumping the fence and wandering around the neighborhood – more presents/treats for me if she didn’t return.  However, with the help of those GPS trackers that are on our collar (The Whistles) Mom quickly found out that she was on the neighboring street.  And after a few “come Zoe’s” she was back in our FarMor and FarFar’s house.  They double checked the spot in the fence that had a small gap that she escaped from shortly after we arrived… but the fortress my parents built seemed in tact so they had no idea how she got out after dark.

Then Dad found this little potting table up against the fence and figured she used this as a launching spot to spring over the fence.

So Dad moved it to the location shown in the picture next to the shed.

Satisfied with his work, he returned to the family and we were once again allowed out.  Minutes later the Whistle once again alerted them to the fact that Zoe had escaped.  Dad “reasoned” that she had gotten the idea that she was able to get out at this spot and realized she could jump out even with the aid of the table so he got a metal gate thing that they had in the basement and placed it into the frame that she was jumping through while Mom commenced with “come Zoe come!” in the front yard.

TaDa!

Well at least for last night.  This morning she was out once again and after some police work by my parents – which included a surveillance detail – they found that with a running start she could clear the back fence near the spot she escaped from the night before.  They have not told her the fence around the whole yard is the same height and that she could probably jump it from a stand still (please don’t you tell her either!).   The good news (for them) is that she immediately returned to them when they called her to come.  Of course this coming meant jumping the fence from the other side and springing off the composter into the middle of the yard… but nonetheless she came!  Those training sessions are starting to wear off on us in a not so positive way – if you ask me.  A ladder in the spot SEEMS to have quelled the escape artist for a few hours…It is going to take them like a zillion hours to take down everything they have established as barricades when it is time to leave, but that is for another day.

Our grandmother in Michigan reminded us (or for Zoe and me she told us for the first time) that Sammy was called Hundini (hund being Danish for dog) because he was always escaping and getting into things that were a complete mystery to the rest of the pack.  Maybe Zoe is “Lady Hundini”?

The Tempest

The Chewers of the Pack

You may not be able to read this note…which was my point.

This was written on Friday when both Zoe and I are confined to our crates due to the person coming by to clean up our house.  Quick aside:  as far as I can tell all she does is ruin all our hard work.  We strive to leave our tracks all through the houses.  This includes romping through the kitchen and bounding on the couch (after a good romp in the muddy yard), getting our feet wet in the shower and then, with our freshly wetted paws, jumping all over the bed linens.  After a week we have things just about perfect and then they come along and mess the whole den up again.  Anyhow, the note says: “Please put Tempi back in her crate.  Thank you! Have a nice weekend! T&K”

So apparently I am not trusted outside my crate after the one or two times I picked to throw the cleaning basket after they were here.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get to the note until after the pet sitters came by but I thought if I was able to dismantle this note maybe, just maybe, I’d be free from captivity NEXT week.

This selective “editing” isn’t anything new in our family.  I myself have indulged in some pretty creative activities.  One of my favorites though was when I stole our Dogtra collars off the kitchen counter and hid them under the cushions on the couch.  Well in actuality, I only took my collar and left Zoe’s behind with the buzz controller.  After all, it was her fault we had to wear them recently.  The Scribe thought he took a photo of it but somehow he couldn’t find it (more subterfuge?)

Then there was the time I stole the book Dad was reading and chewed on this page:

This is kind of funny but what first caught my attention in this book was Chapter 2 – it just wasn’t until Toys were mentioned that my chewing instincts kicked in.

The there was the time my brother Has, whom I never met but heard many stories about, once shredded a piece of paper down to the words “Sunflower seeds”.  This was way back in the day when my parents lived in Oregon and Mom was experiencing migraines and my parents couldn’t figure out why.  As they discussed possible reasons, while snacking on sunflower seeds.  Hasenpfeffer sighed and walked into the guest room and started chomping on the piece of paper that was about foods that could cause the onset of migraines.

OK.  So he doesn’t look particularly intelligent in that picture but for a cat he was pretty damn smart – according to Sammy who lived with him for many years.

Speaking of Sammy, that special big brother of mine, here is a picture of him “finishing” a novel about dogs that a co-worker had lent my parents.

Sammy eating/reading a book

Reading and chewing have long been a part of our pack!

Cheers,

The Tempest

Shame on You

Chapter 2: Fooled You Once

Back this summer, shortly after Zoe joined our pack, Mom was working on dinner while dad and I worked on a blog out at our picnic table.  The exact date, thanks to the time stamp on the photos we shared recently, was August 11th.  The story we were working on was entitled “Toe Nail Tempi.”  Here I am reviewing what the Scribe had written to make sure he hadn’t added anything or misinterpreted/misrepresented my dictation:

..and getting distracted by Zoe flying across the table.  So, we decided Mom better give it a once over before we published the story.  This required the Scribe to carry the computer into the kitchen where Mom was still busy making dinner.  After completing his task he returned to me and we discussed potential future blogs while Zoe continued to be Zoe in the backyard.  Mom finished her review and brought the computer back outside leaving the fish fillets in the flour concoction the recipe called for in the kitchen.  Gone only a few seconds, she quickly returned to the kitchen to finish the….WHAT?  ZOE!  NOOOOOOO!  The meal which was supposed to be four fillets was reduced to but one.  The tilapia thief had a bit of a hard time with an alibi and did not have time to wipe away any evidence as to where the “sushi” had gone.

She can run but she can’t hide those flour encrusted lips!

Even in disguise and trying to lick the flour off her lips she was still busted.

Thus we learned not to turn our backs on Zoe when preparing food.

Chapter 3: Fooled you twice.

Skip ahead a few weeks and join us at our dinner table while we eat a peaceful meal together – well to be honest we already had eaten and were sitting quietly at our parents side while they ate.  On this particular evening, some major ruckus transpired in our front yard.  Zoe and I, performing our domestic duties, alerted our parents by barking vehemently at the front window.  The incident which was occurring out front was significant enough to get warrant both of our folks to also run to the window and join the two of us on the couch.  As we viewed the spectacle together as a family, none of us (except me) noticed that Zoe had left the party and sauntered off to the dining room table and helped herself to some of our parents repast.  This is nothing I would ever consider doing myself as I am far to refined to do such a thing (Editor note:  https://wordpress.com/post/montanamomentstrn.wordpress.com/2916).

Once again, my parents were left with less than a full meal and Zoe had come as close to being sated as she ever has been.

Chapter 4: Hey!  Why aren’t you distracted?

Over the next couple of weeks whenever there was food present (in preparation or in the process of being consumed, Zoe would run to the door or front window and bark like we were being invaded).  For some reason, neither of our parents took it seriously.   Zoe would return to the kitchen and stare at Mom incredulously.  Not getting the reaction she wanted, Zoe tried again to no avail.  Mom stood her ground guarding the “people” food.  Zoe once again came back to the kitchen, glared at Mom, and then barked at her repeatedly.  As I said, this happened several times until Zoe learned that you can fool them once, maybe twice, but eventually they’ll catch on and protect their grub.

The Tempest

(depressed over the fact she can’t edit this post and clear her “good” name)

 

Drama Queen

I know I still owe you the prequel to the last story about eating soap but “Shame on You” will have to wait for another day as we had a bit of an adventure this afternoon.  As I have alluded to, Zoe and I have been taking classes at a training center that also teaches police dogs.  This was our fourth lesson (each) with good stories I plan to release in an upcoming blog – but that is later in our pub strategy…after “Shame on You” which has been bumped back by today’s events which I think I already mentioned.

About 15 minutes into our one hour session with MaryAnne (MA), Zoe once again took center stage.  This time, rather than laying down and refusing to stand up as she was being dragged across the floor or standing on her hind legs and mouthing mom, dad OR our trainer, Zoe decided to squat and relieve herself.  All of us that really know her were quite shocked as she never pees inside.  Mom was with her at the time and initially was unaware of this indiscretion on the part of Zoe until MA alerted her to this fact.  From the vantage point of MA, dad, and myself the spillage looked rather dark for urine but we thought it was just the lighting in the building.  Then as mom looked down with a shocked look on her face “we” all realized it was due to the pee being composed largely of blood!  Of course I was already aware of this the second she started voiding her bladder as I had already detected the distinct iron-esque odor of blood in the air…and if I am to be honest, I smelled she wasn’t quite right before we even left the house but I was too excited by the opportunity for a car ride!

MA approached the “accident” and immediately looked concerned saying she had seen blood specks in urine before but nothing close to this flood coming from my sister Zoe.  She got out the mop and bucket and we continued our training.   Once again the little drama queen was unable to distract the lesson plan for the day.  However, in between shouting out orders for us, MA was Googling “blood in dog urine” and texting vet friends to see how urgent this medical condition was.  But still the lesson continued.  The verdict was if Zoe didn’t have an elevated core body temperature (fever) she probably was OK but should be monitored for the next 24 hours.  However, since my parents had plans for the evening they opted to go to the emergency vet to make sure she wasn’t in immediate peril.

So off to the Blue Pearl clinic that brought Sammy back from the dead a number of years ago.

The PEARL JAMs

Here we are awaiting the vet:

As it turns out – the vet who had the same name as my mom – said she still had a lot of stuff in her bladder so she was able to get a sample and determined it was “just” a UTI – no crystals had formed suggesting it was still early times in the infection process.  Phew.  Just a week or two of antibiotics and she should be back to her same annoying self which I suspect will happen even sooner as she was already walking on (frozen) water – which reminds me of yet another story I have to tell when Snowy visited us this fall – as we were waiting for mom to pay for the whole affair…

That is if she doesn’t get further sick from the chunk of butter out of the frying pan tonight, or the pork chop bone she stole out of the trash after dinner.  Thus “Queenie” kept our parents  home with us for the evening.

No concerns about my health though as I may have shred the hanger that my mother had her favorite shirt drying on, but I was smart enough not to ingest any of the parts…Zoe almost got a piece but dad caught her and shook it out of her mouth before the swallowing occurred.  We should tell you some time about the gorgeous surprise left on the front stoop.  Only made it to the back for about 30 seconds :).

The Tempest

Soap

Most of you when you read the word “soap” think of either a bar or liquid that you would employ to get rid of dirt and or grime.  Others might think of daytime serials in which just about anything can happen and thus the official genre adds the term opera to the end.

I think of neither of these as I am not a fan of being cleaned with soap as I feel I do a fine job with my every day grooming.  AND the TV is off during the daytime when my parents are at work so I have never actually seen a soap opera.  What I think of is the ’70’s TV show named Soap for I at one point ate a DVD holder containing one of the season of this show.  The box was very tasty but didn’t have a hint of soapy flavor so I am not sure why the show was named what it was.

But what I think of, or what any of you think of when reading the title of this blog, is irrelevant to my real story – one which in reality should be told by Zoe since the is the main character in this saga.

Chapter 1:

Monday morning, 7:05 AM:  Shower time

I was snuggled up next to Dad who was still in bed as our mother started warming up the water in the shower.  Zoe was on the bed too but likely chewing something and trying to annoy me.  Noticing a lack of soap on the ledge where the bar is usually kept.  “Hey, why did you throw out the soap?”  Dad: “Huh?”  Mom: “There was still a significant left so why did you get rid of it?”  Dad: “Huh?”  Mom: “You didn’t throw out the soap?”  Dad: “I did not.  But Zoe has been real interested in it lately after I am done with my shower.  I just thought she had been licking the water on the floor and getting her muddy paws cleaned up but I suppose she could have snagged the soap when I wasn’t looking.(?)!”  Mom: “That Zoe, what a prankster.”

Tuesday morning, 6:52 AM: Shower time

Same set up as Monday Morning, mom warming the water, dad and I curled up in bed, Zoe being annoying.  Once again, no soap in the shower.  Mom fascinated asked dad if he left the shower door open yesterday.  Nope.

Flashback

Monday evening, 5:48 PM: Getting dinner ready

Mom working feverishly in the kitchen putting yet another tasty meal on the table.  Dad and I chilling on the couch discussing future blog entries that have built up over the past few months and coming up with a publication plan.  Zoe, who is usually butting in and making a nuisance of herself was nowhere to be found.  Shortly there was a clamor of chewing coming from the bedroom above us.  That Zoe presumably found her bone that she usually chews in the morning during the pre-shower ritual and is keeping herself entertained while the rest of us work.  Seems that training is paying off or she is finally growing up.

Dinner served.  All of us gathered around the table, us pups sitting politely on the floor giving our parents appropriate space while they eat.

Further Flashback

The above pictures are not following the Zoe eating soap episode although the bubbles around her mouth would give that impression.  The green foliage in the back ground may have given it away that this was not earlier this week.  But the reason for her white rimmed lips and bubble drool will be the subject of a future entry…promise.

The Tempest

PS – Later this week my parents witnessed Zoe pushing open the shower door, entering the chamber of water, and going after the bar of soap.  After a reprimand, Zoe gave up on stealing her third bar of soap and exited the shower by once again pushing open the door and returning it to the closed position.  This brought a tear to my eye – kinda proud of the little girl.