Rude Awakenings

As will soon become clear, this entry will have no photographs to support the text because: 1) you don’t want to see what Zoe coughed up; 2) back before iPhones, pictures were apparently snapped at a less frequent pace.

1) Last night, or rather early this morning, I was awoken by a viscous attack upon my person by Zoe – apparently she thought I was interested in the food she had just “made”…food that she had actually eaten a good eight hours or so earlier.  Mom woke up before I did because she heard a grumbling coming from the torso curled up next to her.  That grumbling soon became a pile of partially eaten dinner that projected out of Zoe (so I assume – I was sleeping peacefully at the time it happened).  Her getting sick to her stomach would have normally activated the whole household since dog puking is usually preceded by that horrible retching sound.  This time everyone was up in a matter of moments but with the exception of Mom, this was driven by the barrage on me  (me still being in a sleep stupor and shocked by her suddenly aggressive nature) rather than the aforementioned gagging or lack thereof.   Dad, also shaking off his exhausting dreamscape, tried to get between Zoe and I in order to break up the not really fight.  I say not really as Zoe was pretty worked up but I just stood there blinking and pretending to barr my teeth at her through her barking and barring of teeth thinking “why am I not still asleep?”  Followed closely by “why would I want to eat that?  You eat it.”  Which Zoe tried to do as Dad worked on corralling us outside and Mom started the clean up process and the detective work to try and figure out what sparked the mid-slumber up-chuck fest.   Her concern deepened when she found no obvious foreign particles in the aftermath.  In addition, Zoe had another episode of regurgitation in the back yard and was entirely squirmy the rest of the early morning while sitting with Mom on the couch (Dad fell back asleep after finding a non-puke bed).  Quick aside, while Mom was on the couch consoling Zoe, she checked her email and the first of HUNDREDS of emails sent company wide started piling up in her inbox.  By the time Dad finally arose, the count was already at 80 from people responding (to all) with all sorts of humorous things like: “I shouldn’t be on this email”, “PEOPLE STOP RESPONDING TO ALL!”, or “Is this some sort of Cyber-attack?”  or “my name is so and so and I do x.  Surely you have the wrong so and so.”  Anyhow, as I mentioned, Dad was now awake for reals.  So it was shower time.  This was when my Mother finally finished her detective work into why Zoe had gotten sick.  Apparently, at some point during the evening (sleep time), “Speedy” slunk into the shower and consumed the best part of a bar of soap.  This apparently caused her some gastric distress :).  She was fine by breakfast, and there appears to be no negative aftermath.

2) Back in The Day of Cats, our parents similarly awoke in a rapid and traumatic fashion.  On this occasion, in the era before iPhones, there was no retching, puking, or other such animal-related sickness.  However, as they would eventually determine, it was pet induced.   See, back in the day, Dad would bring a glass of ice water with him to bed and set in on the headboard.   This tradition was subsequently modified based on this event – and the fact that they eventually ended up getting new bedroom furniture so the glass of water could be on a side table rather than above their heads.  So, on the night in question, or at least the night of this story, the water glass was perched above them.  And this was not just any water glass but one of those jelly jar heavy type things – a real solid piece of glass.  Mom and Dad were sound asleep but suddenly awoke “simultaneously” when they felt said glass bonk them on the head and felt a sudden rush of cold water cascading over their shoulders.  “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” they both said awaking from their slumber.   While rubbing their heads…and shivering (as it was the middle of the winter)…they realized that the culprit was actually Boomer who sat on the headboard carefully grooming himself from the horrible trauma inflicted on him by the splash of water that caught his paw after the glass had unceremoniously fallen from the headboard, hit one and then the other of our parents in the head before dousing them with the cold water.  Hee hee hee.

The Tempest

Thanks for the story Boomer.  Hope all is well at college!

Boomer and Kaitlin in bed